Life's Little Mysteries

I said weeks ago that the cold would soon creep over the mountains and settle into the valley.  Well, it has.  The day after Thanksgiving, we got a few flurries.  Just enough to give the kids something to be excited about, but not enough to keep from dashing their little hopes.  Last Saturday, their little hopes were satisfied ... and then some!  We started December with our first snowfall of the season.  It started very early in the morning and, by the time Megan woke up, everything was covered with snow.  I heard her get out of bed, then heard little footsteps make their way to the window, then came a scream of excitement that filled the house.  "It's snowing!!!"  It brought back memories of when I was a kid.  As soon as I would hear the weatherman forecast snow, the excitement and anticipation would begin to bubble up.  I would wake up the next morning, anxious to look out the window and see our back yard covered in white.  I can imagine that must be how she feels, too, and I laughed as I heard her run down the stairs at high speed.

Sonny went to work that morning.  Working on Saturday has become a rather normal part of his routine in recent months, much to Megan's chagrin.  She barely sees her daddy during the week, so she looks forward to the weekends with him.  If he knew how disappointed she is when she wakes up on Saturday morning only to find he isn't there, he may not do it so much.  This Saturday was different, though.  This Saturday there was wonderful, beautiful, glorious snow just waiting to be made into snowballs and thrown at the the house, the garage, the dog ... any moving or non-moving object is a suitable target.  To a kid, a big yard covered in  freshly fallen snow is just a blank canvas for footprints and snow angels. 

By the time Sonny got home early in the afternoon, she had already been out to play twice.  Her boots were still drying by the wood stove when he said he wanted to go to Valley Star Farm and get a Christmas tree.  He was in an unusually good mood.  I told him I would get Meg ready.  He suggested that we all go.  All.  The 3 of us.  Just like we do every year.  Part of me wanted to just get her into her snowsuit and send the both of them on their way.  But the other part, (the part that won out in the end), said, "What the hell.  Might as well cling to tradition for one last year."

The Christmas tree farm was beautiful.  Once I got there, I was glad that he decided to get the tree that day and that he suggested I come along, too.  The mountains and countryside, as always, were beautiful and breathtaking blanketed in fresh snow.  We walked through small groves of Douglas Fir, White Pine, Norway Spruce and other varieties of evergreens ranging in size from Charlie Brown to That'll Never Fit In The Space We Have.  Megan had so much fun sneaking up on us and ambushing us with snowballs, laughing and having fun.  After nearly an hour, we narrowed it down to a few trees and Megan picked the one she liked best.

The scenery was beautiful, snow was falling, Megan was having fun.  As we were walking through the Christmas tree farm, the snow flurrying around our faces, I thought how perfect the afternoon was.  In a way, I wanted him to realize that, too, and stop right there amongst the pines and sincerely say he's sorry, tell me how much he loves me, tell me he wants to be with me.  I felt the same feeling Thanksgiving Day at the lake.  I know that will never happen, but I can't help that a small part of me wishes it would.  I think the desire to be wanted is in all of us.  It's human nature.

All week, I have been thinking about how we got along so well Thanksgiving Day during our walk around the lake and again at the Christmas tree farm, but other days ... um ... not so much. I couldn't help but wonder why that is. Why things are such a roller coaster ride for us. If things can be that good then, why not always?  It's one of life's little mysteries. It ranks right up there with sasquatch, what happened to Jimmy Hoffa, and why men never stop to ask for directions.  One of those things I'll probably be scratching my head about for a long time.